Krees goes Dutch Kiwi!

live blogging: 5:23am Sunday

Wisdom from halmoni to her grandson:

Oo soo suh ool myun tohng goo myung suh tul na.

Translation: If you laugh and then cry, your poophole will grow hair.

in the waiting room

When you enter the waiting room for your local veterinarian or doctor, give a quick "Goede morgen" or "Dag" to the others who are already there. There likely won't be a reception desk to sign in, so note who's ahead of you and wait your turn. If you're a new patient, you might need to enter the office to find an assistant who will give you new paperwork to complete.

Is there a doctor in the village?

Yes! But if you live in a small town like ours, don't be surprised if there's only one doctor's office. That's the only one you can go to. Don't like the doctor? Prefer to go to the doctor in the village where you work? Too bad! They'll send you back to the doctor in your home village. And what if your village is growing so fast that the only doctor isn't accepting new patients? Hope you never get sick! (The good news, according to a coworker who lives in our same village, is that he and his family happen to like our only doctor. When they've been sick, he's made house calls to them after his rounds in the afternoon, even when they haven't asked him to. Yes, doctors here also make house calls.)

breakin' the law

If a policeman wants you to stop, he drives in front of you with a volg (follow) sign lit in the rear window.

"I always feel like somebody's watchin' me"

Knowing that the Dutch value their privacy, I've been surprised how many people leave their curtains wide open - even at night when you can see right into their living rooms. One (albeit British) coworker attributed it to Calvinist sensibilities. They ought not have anything to hide, so why close the curtains?

festivus for the rest of us

Each of the small villages in North Holland, perhaps the whole country, have a festival in the summer. This typically involves loud music late into the night. Diever's Zomerfest was Saturday night, and we were treated to live covers of Whitney Houston and Bryan Adams until around midnight. I'm grateful it wasn't the polka music Pesse was hit with in their festival last month.

the scoop on poop

Okay, so this isn't officially a Dutch custom or anything. But it's my own opinion that if your dog poops in someone's yard, particularly if it's on the part between their hedgerow and the road, and if there's a big pile of horse poop five feet away, you don't have to pick up after your dog. I also haven't seen anyone else picking up after his or her dog.

Right of way

You won't see stop signs in the Netherlands. When approaching an intersection without a traffic light or roundabout, where the other road has equal priority, the car or bike on the right has right-of-way. If you have the right-of-way or there are no other cars at the intersection, there's no need to stop, and cars behind you won't be expecting you to either.

Who's Al Fresco and why would I want coffee with him?

The Dutch know how to design their outdoor cafes. With umbrellas. Very large umbrellas that cover many tables at once and are well-weighted so as not to tip over in the wind. So if you're ever caught in a good old Dutch downpour, relax. Have yourself a coffee or beer at an outdoor cafe with no worries of getting wet.

ethnic foods

It sounds weird, but the Schiphol Airport grocery store is a great place to pick up some of the staple food items from your home country. And the store there is open on Sundays. Bonus!

Bag it yourself

If you have lots of grocery shopping to do, you'd better be prepared! Not only will the person at the cash register not bag your groceries for you, she won't even have bags for you. You'll have to either bring your own or buy them from a machine that's inconveniently located about 30 feet away from the registers.

The butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker are never open

Most stores in the Netherlands, including grocery stores, seem to keep banker's hours. Not only are they closed on Sundays, but they also close by 6:00 on most weekdays. Fortunately, each village has at least one shopping night, usually Thursday or Friday, when shops and banks stay open until 8pm.

road rules

Bikes reign supreme in the Netherlands. Not only are there clearly-marked signs for where you can ride and not ride your bicycle, motorists are accustomed to having lots of cyclists around and having to pay attention to them. Even if you do something stupid on your bike and cause an accident, blame is still usually put on the motorist.

"Every day is like Sunday" (not!)

Dutch stores close on Sundays. Grocery stores, clothing stores, drug stores, bakeries. Almost everything, at least in small towns like ours. So if you find yourself in urgent need of something unexpected, say something related to feminine hygiene perhaps, you'd better get in the car and find yourself a gas station that sells more than soda and chips. If you're lucky, there will be one large enough to sell tampons. And chocolate to make you feel better.

"Mijn naam is..."

The Dutch are big on maintaining a sense of privacy, and respecting others' privacy in return. So neighbors won't go introduce themselves to welcome newcomers. It's up to the newcomers to go around and introduce themselves to the existing neighbors.